How do you break up with someone?

Breakups are hard, whether you initiated it or not. They can stir up a mix of emotions: sadness, anger, and sometimes relief. It’s crucial to look after yourself and find ways to cope.

Deciding to Break Up

Feeling nervous about breaking up is normal. Understanding your reasons can clarify things for both you and the person you’re breaking up with, helping avoid the unhelpful “it’s not you, it’s me” cliché. Take the time to reflect on why you want to end the relationship—this can make the conversation more straightforward. For more on handling breakups, visit Reachout’s coping with a break up page.

When explaining the breakup, be honest but considerate. Avoid confusing statements like “I still love you,”. Instead, try: “I care about you and want you to be happy, but I can’t meet your needs anymore.” This shows compassion while reaffirming your decision to break up.

The Best Way to Break Up

Respect is key: for yourself, your partner, and what you’ve shared. If possible, break up face-to-face. This allows both of you to express your feelings openly. Avoid breaking up via text or email as it can seem impersonal and lacks respect. If safety is a concern, however, a phone call or public place might be necessary. For additional advice, check out this podcast from Headspace all about how to deal with a break up.

Also, don’t rush to change your relationship status online,  before having the conversation. It’s respectful to inform your partner directly before the world sees it online.

Post-Breakup Etiquette

If you share mutual friends or environments, try to keep the breakup as amicable as possible. This helps avoid drama and discomfort among friends. Stay civil, or friendly if possible, to make mutual interactions less awkward.

Self-Care After a Breakup

Taking care of yourself is vital. Emotions can be intense and confusing, so it’s important to stay active, eat well, and do things that uplift you. Consider activities that distract and soothe you, like watching movies, swimming, or listening to your favourite music. Engage in hobbies that allow you to channel and process your emotions.

Regular exercise can clear your mind and help with sleep difficulties. Eating well is also crucial; while comfort food is tempting, nourishing your body with healthy food supports emotional recovery. You can indulge a little but try to maintain balance.

Moving On

Every breakup is unique. If you’re considering dating again, take it at your own pace. Trust your instincts—if something doesn’t feel right, give yourself more time.

Remember, breakups are tough, but you’re capable of getting through them. With time and self-care, healing will follow.

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We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands on which Rosie has been created, the Wurundjeri Woiwurrung people of the Kulin Nation, and pay our respects to elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

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