Sexual orientation describes who you’re attracted to sexually and romantically. It ranges from who catches your eye to who you might fall for or feel a strong emotional bond with. It’s completely normal to be attracted to the same gender, different genders, or both. Common terms include gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and straight.

Think of sexual orientation as a spectrum. On one end are those mostly attracted to the same gender — often called gay or lesbian. On the other end are people primarily attracted to a different gender, typically known as straight. But your feelings might change over time, or not fit neatly into these categories — and that’s okay.  

Remember, sexual orientation isn’t about who you’re dating or having sex with; it’s about attraction. For instance, you could be a girl dating a boy but identify as bisexual if you’re also attracted to other genders. Or, you might have same-gender relationships without identifying as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Your identity is for you to define.

Exploring different terms can help you find the language that best captures your feelings.

Key terms around gender identity

Sexual orientation encompasses a wide range of identities, reflecting who people are attracted to romantically and/or sexually. Here’s a guide to some common and less well-known terms:

• Apasexual: An individual who shows little to no interest in the concept of attraction or sexual orientation.
• Asexual (Ace): Someone who has low or no sexual attraction towards others, but may experience romantic attraction. Often called ‘ace’ for short.
• Bisexual: This refers to an individual attracted to more than one gender.
• Gay: Often used to describe men attracted to other men but can apply broadly to those attracted to the same gender.
• Heterosexual (Straight): Describes men attracted to women and women attracted to men.
• Homosexual: An outdated term for same-sex attraction, now often seen as pejorative.
• Lesbian: Women who are attracted to other women.
• Pansexual: Individuals who are attracted to people regardless of their gender identity.
• Pomosexual: Those who reject traditional labels for sexual orientation.
• Queer: A broad term for people who do not identify as heterosexual and/or cisgender.
• Questioning/Unsure: For those still exploring their sexual orientation.

Additional terms that focus on attraction to qualities regardless of gender:

• Androsexual: Attraction to masculinity.
• Gynesexual: Attraction to femininity.
• Ambisexual: Attraction to both masculinity and femininity.
• Skoliosexual: Attraction primarily to transgender or non-binary individuals.

For more detailed explanations and resources, visit Scarleteen and read about sexuality and gender identity on Minus18.

Sexual orientation is deeply personal, and identifying with one of these terms—or none at all—is entirely up to you. Remember, you’re not obligated to explain or justify your orientation to anyone.

Where can I get support?

If you’re experiencing any struggles with navigating your sexual orientation, reaching out for support can be really helpful. Consider sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or a school counsellor who can offer you the understanding you need. You can also check out our full list of support services to access free and confidential mental health support.

Additional support for LGBTQIA+ folk is available through:

• QLife provides anonymous and free LGBTQIA+ peer support and referral for people wanting to talk about a range of issues including sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings, or relationships
  

• Switchboard provides information, support, and referral services for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex people of Victoria and Tasmania. 

• Minus18 provides resources and insightful information on gender and sexuality to help you navigate your experience.