Perfectionism is when a person is excessively occupied with achieving a certain goal. Unhealthy perfectionism can result in a negative reaction if a goal isn’t met. These reactions may include anxiety and fear of failure. Perfectionism may be related to a specific goal in school or work, but can also be related to body image, fitness or relationships.

Someone who is a perfectionist may also be described as someone who is ‘driven’, ‘ambitious’ or a ‘high-achiever’. These can be great qualities that can help you achieve goals in life. But it can become unhealthy if trying to achieve a specific goal becomes all-consuming and has a negative impact on self-esteem or mental health. 

Often perfectionism is related to societal pressures which are likely unrealistic, just like the idea of ‘perfection’ is unattainable. Trying to make something perfect Sometimes it can be helpful to recognise where these feelings are coming from. You could ask yourself: “Why do I feel like I need to get 100% on this assignment?” or “Is there someone putting pressure on me to feel this way?” 

The perfect body, student, or athlete doesn’t actually exist, so by setting yourself impossible standards, you aren’t letting yourself recognise your unique qualities and achievements! 

Some tips on how to avoid unhealthy perfectionism: 

Learn to recognise when participating in negative self-talk 

Try to reframe your negative thoughts to challenge them. Watch these videos to learn how to reframe and defeat negative thoughts. This will turn negative thoughts into positive thinking!

This video goes through how self-talk shapes your brain!

Recognise that the goalposts often change

Sometimes it feels like a goal is unattainable and it’s that even once a goal is fulfilled, another will take its place. This might seem overwhelming if you do not recognise the small wins they. 

This might mean that you planned to finish an assignment in an afternoon – but after working on it for a few hours you realise that the task is too big or you’re not feeling like your best self. Not finishing the assignment is not a loss if you recognise the work you have done and are proud of yourself for listening to what you need!

Accept imperfections 

The Japanese philosophy of Wabi-sabi embraces the beauty and individuality of imperfection or difference. This mindset places value on objects that need to be repaired or buildings showing the impact of time. Many have adapted it to counter-act Western notions of perfection or exceptionalism, emphasising that imperfection is the marker of individuality. 

This video goes through this philosophy in more detail:

Affirmations and positive self talk can also help with accepting imperfections. They might feel a little silly at first but saying positive things to yourself can be a mood-booster. Try things like “I am enough”, and “my body deserves my love” to reassure yourself that even though you aren’t perfect (and no one is) you are still special and deserving of care – watch this video to learn more!

Undertake activities that aren’t goal-related 

You could take a random class or learn a hobby. These can be great to create some distance from school or work and can help you embrace getting messy and making mistakes.

It is also good to be aware that it is ok if you aren’t good at new things straight away. The process of learning a new skill is challenging and sometimes difficult – this is what makes it worthwhile! 

Seeking help

Sometimes perfectionism can be a sign of a larger problem, such as anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. 

• It can help to talk to someone like a local doctor or your school counsellor.
• you can contact a mental health organisation like Beyond Blue, ReachOut or Headspace. These organisations have support phone-lines and chat rooms with trained professionals waiting to help. 
• Kids Helpline, and Lifeline are some places you can go to for online and phone counselling that’s entirely free and confidential. 
• For eating disorders or body image concerns, the Butterfly Foundation has fantastic resources and a national helpline.