Dealing with a bully is difficult. If you’re being bullied, it’s normal to feel upset, confused, angry, and at a loss for words. Since bullying is a repeated behaviour, we can actually prepare our responses in advance. Here are some ways to handle bullying:

Stay calm 

Bullies want you to react emotionally. If you stay cool and respond unexpectedly, they might back down. Bullies often try to make you feel bad to feel better about themselves. If you don’t show how their actions affect you, they might move on.

Getting help

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, don’t be silent about it. If someone’s behaviour is making you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to take the situation to someone in authority, who can solve the problem.

Talk to a trusted teacher, a family member, your coach, a manager or a good friend about what’s going on.

Remember, bullies often act out because they are hurting inside. They might feel lonely, angry, or scared. By telling someone in authority, you’re helping both yourself and the bully—they might get the help they need.

What to do in the moment 

Here are some responses that might diffuse the situation:

Pretend to agree with them 

Example: “You’re right, I am bad at maths. Thanks for being so open and honest with me”

This shows you don’t really care, making you a less appealing target.

Act unbothered 

Example: “Nice insult. A bit unoriginal though—I’d give it 3 out of 5 stars. Better luck next time.”

This shows their insults won’t get to you.

Use humour 

Example: “I would insult you back but I’m not sure you’d understand.”

Humor can defuse tension and show you’re not affected. 

Call it out 

Example: “Wow Sam, that was really uncalled for.” 

This validates the feelings of those being targeted and shifts the focus to the bully. You can also use this if you see someone else being bullied.

Pretend you don’t understand 

Example: “What did you mean by that?” or “Could you explain to me why that is funny?”

This makes the bully reflect on their words, especially if the comment is racist or sexist.

Where to get help

• If you need to, you could also talk to a professional from youth organisations including Kids Helpline, Headspace and ReachOut. They have trained counsellors available to talk you through any kind of problem, so don’t be shy.