Masking is a survival strategy where neurodiverse people hide or suppress their symptoms to camouflage in society. It is a defence mechanism for neurodiverse people to ensure their safety, however, in the long run, it can have serious consequences. Girls have been found to have higher rates of masking because of the pressures of socialisation. 

Masking is a learned behaviour from years of attempting to “fit in” or meet the neurotypical standards of society. It can start young and be influenced by parents, peers, educators, and wider society as stigma and discrimination against neurodiverse people impact their ability to shine as their true selves. 

Learn what masking is in this video. 

Masking traits 

Masking can come in many different forms and can be different for each individual. Some shared experiences of masking include: 

• Hiding signs of discomfort 
• Changing physicality – such as not stimming or fidgeting 
• Mimicking other people’s expressions or language
• Hiding the parts of themselves others have deemed “weird” or “not normal”
• Not expressing true emotions due to external pressure
• Suppressing overstimulation

Learn about other masking traits in this video. 

What are the consequences of masking? 

These may seem like minor changes but over time they add up to having severe consequences. Masking is a temporary fix to a larger problem within society that ostracises neurodiverse people. 

Some of the personal consequences include: 

• Exhaustion: the mental toll of analysing a situation and making sure that you react in the “appropriate” way is a physically and emotionally exhausting process. It can lead to a day-to-day increase in fatigue and burnout in the long run.
  • Constantly asking: “how am I supposed to react to this” rather than just reacting in a natural way adds an unnatural level of stress and work to every interaction. 
• Anxiety: hyper-analysing everyone’s movements and subliminal signals can lead to an increase in social anxiety. Additionally, an excessive focus on how you are perceived or managing your physical and emotional presentation can cause stress. 
• Depression and disconnect with a sense of self: when masking it can be easy to lose track of who you are outside of the pressures of society. This can be a dangerous path that leads to depression, isolation, and a loss of a sense of self. 
• Delayed diagnosis: because masking hides the signs and symptoms of neurodivergence it can be hard for others – or even the person themselves – to tell if they are neurodiverse. This can lead to delays in diagnosis and treatment. 

How do I know if I’m masking? 

It can be hard to tell if you are masking or not because you may have been doing it for so long. 

Because masking is a socialised trait, neurodiverse people might become used to it over time and it may be hard to notice if you are doing it. These incremental learned behaviours make it difficult to discern what is an innate trait and what is something that you have learned to implement.  

Try doing some research about masking and reflection on your past and present experience to determine if this resonates with you! 

This TikTok lists some signs that might mean that you are masking. 

How can you deal with and unlearn masking? 

Masking can become an ingrained part of how someone operates within the world. But there are ways that neurodiverse people can unlearn masking and manage its consequences. 

• Recharge yourself: it is important to give yourself time to recover and recuperate from the toll of masking and interacting with neurotypical people. It is important to replenish the energy that masking consumes. 
  • Engage with your special interests: watch your favourite movies or TV shows, game, or make art. Whatever recharges you!
  • Personal time: allow time in your schedule to be alone if this is something that refreshes you. 
• Community: find people like you! Finding and engaging with a community of people that reflect who you are is so important. It not only recharges your battery but helps you unlearn masking traits and feel valued in your natural way of being. 
• Psychological assistance: seeing a psychologist is a great way to process the trauma of masking and help unpack the negative consequences that it has brought into your life. It will also help you to find ways to communicate and set boundaries with those around you and with yourself!  
• Communication: talking to those around you about interacting in a way that is beneficial for you is a great way to feel safe. This will help your friends and family understand your perspective and not be worried about behaviour changes. 

This video tracks the process of a young woman finding the courage to open up to her mum about the struggle of masking and might be helpful if you are considering doing the same. 

Where can I get help? 

This journey of reflection and unlearning can be a big one, with many ups and downs. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and reaching out to those around you for support through this time. 

• Gateways support services have a great list of autism and neurodiversity resources
• I CAN provides mentoring programs and community networks for young people with autism 
• The ADHD Foundation provides diagnostic support and services for people with ADHD 
• Kids Helpline provides round-the-clock assistance for young people who are struggling
• headspace  provides support for young people struggling with mental health struggles