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What is slut shaming?

There is a word in the English language that girls and feminine-presenting folk become familiar with fairly early on in life: slut. 

You may have heard it countless times — maybe you’ve been called it yourself; or maybe you’ve even been the accuser.  That one syllable we know is aimed to sting, to degrade, to humiliate, and to shame.

‘Slut’ really has no definitive meaning. If you take a look in the dictionary you might find it is defined as:

  1. A promiscuous person: someone who has many sexual partners, usually used of a woman
  2. An unclean or slovenly woman 

But as many of us know, you don’t have to be displaying low hygiene standards and having sex with multiple partners to be called a slut (even though theres nothing wrong with that). In fact, you don’t even have to be having sex at all. People often use the term to degrade and belittle women and feminine-presenting people for being ‘too sexual’, through the way they dress, talk, dance, flirt, or even walk.

This is called slut shaming.

Attacking and degrading girls and feminine-presenting people for their sexuality – whether they are sexually active or not – means that any action, no matter how small, can be interpreted and criticised as ‘overly sexual’. This is something society has long deemed feminine bodies ought not to be.

From ‘flirty’ to ‘loose’, to ‘bitchy’ and ‘desperate’, slut shaming encompasses a whole range of insults. What all these insults have in common is they target and criticise the female body.

Some examples of slut shaming include:

  • Calling someone a ‘slut’ 
  • Demeaning someone for wearing revealing clothes, regardless of what they’re actually wearing
  • Spreading rumours about someone’s sex life 
  • Saying negative comments about someone for having sex, regardless of what’s true 
  • Victim-blaming someone for their experience of sexual assault
  • Yelling at someone for going to a sexual health care centre
Why does slut shaming exist? 

Throughout history, the actions and sexual freedoms of women and feminine-presenting people have been regulated by men and religious groups, who sought to control femininity. They attempted to do this by restricting access to reproductive and contraceptive choices, as well as inflicting physical and sexual violence. 

As women have gained access to reproductive and political rights, their freedom to express their sexuality and break the codes of ‘feminine’ behaviour previously imposed on them has also increased, hoorah!

But despite these fantastic advancements, sexist ideas about the way women and feminine-presenting people should behave have unfortunately hung around. This is why slut shaming still exists today. There are still expectations around virginity for people who aren’t men, meaning that connotations of sexual promiscuity are still connected to worth. When someone is called a slut, the perpetrator is trying to degrade them by implying things like “you are not valued for your intelligence or your personality” or “your only value lies in your body and your sexuality”. 

When men slut shame, they are also reinforcing the incorrect belief that feminine bodies and sexual freedoms should be controlled by men.

Slut shaming is closely connected to issues of victim blaming and rape culture, which promotes misogynistic beliefs that the sexual promiscuity of women and feminine-presenting people are to blame for their experiences of sexual assault and violence.

Learn about how slut shaming and victim blaming are connected in this video about rape culture in India. 

SlutWalk Movement

In 2011, feminists in Toronto protested against a local policeman’s views on sexual assault, having told college students, “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”. Their protests were called ‘SlutWalk’, and have since sparked a global movement of people challenging harmful, victim-blaming language and slut shaming. Protests have been held all around the world, like this 2022 SlutWalk in Naarm (Melbourne). 

The SlutWalk rallies promote the freedom of women, feminine-presenting, and gender diverse folk to express their sexuality without judgment, to wear whatever they want without being sexualised and blamed for sexual violence, and to challenge the ongoing use of the word ‘slut’ to shame others. 

While across the globe people are speaking out against slut shaming and victim blaming, ‘slut’ continues to be a slur many of us face in our daily lives, or at some stage in our experiences as women and feminine-presenting people. 

What it’s like to be slut shamed

Slut shaming can be confusing, as it seems to idealise feminine sexuality while suggesting that feminine bodies and sexual expression are shameful. 

From a young age, girls and feminine-presenting people are taught to display virtues associated with ‘femininity’, like being ‘ladylike’, ‘sweet’ and ‘pretty’. They are taught that their value is based on their appearance and sexual appeal. But once they reach an age where they begin expressing and exploring their sexuality, they become subject to criticism from those around them — from guys, from the media, and other negative influences that promote control over their actions and sexual freedom.

How can we stop slut shaming?

Putting an end to slut shaming requires some big changes in how women and feminine-presenting people are valued and perceived in society. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to try and challenge established ideas, especially when those ideas can be pretty hurtful and can seem so common. But there are important actions you can take to change these attitudes and promote a culture where feminine bodies are respected and treated equally.

Be aware 

Sometimes we don’t notice the things going on around us. Being aware of slut shaming can help us identify situations where someone might be having a negative experience and figure out how we can help out. Sometimes we might not realise that we ourselves are responsible for or involved in slut shaming.

By paying closer attention to the way words are used and their meanings we can begin to challenge how people use them, or try using them in a positive way.  Slut shaming is also a form of bullying, which means that serious action can be taken against those responsible.

Talk to people

Starting conversations with your friends, family and peers about slut shaming can be an effective way of getting people to think about the meanings and consequences of the words they use. It can be scary to confront people’s behaviours and ideas, but speaking calmly to them about the way their words make you and others feel can be a positive step to changing attitudes.

Start your own movement!

There’s power in numbers. Once you start talking to friends and peers about slut shaming you might realise you share similar ideas and want to get your message out there. This could be as simple as getting a group together (whether that be IRL or online) to start conversations with others. Check out our post on starting a student group at your school to see how you can make some real change!

If you’re experiencing slut shaming, there are people you can speak to and resources you can use to find help. Being attacked or ridiculed through slut shaming is a serious form of bullying.

Further resources you can access 

Experiencing slut shaming can be an overwhelming experience. It is a good idea to talk to someone about it, whether that be a friend, trusted adult or school counsellor. You can also check out any of these free confidential services:

  • Kids Helpline is a free, private, and confidential phone and online counselling service specifically for young people in Australia. 
  • Eheadspace offers free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 – 25 and their families and friends. 
  • Beyond blue offers free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 24/7. You can also anonymously connect with others who might be experiencing similar things to you.
  • Reachout is a safe online space to connect with others. PeerChat is a safe anonymous place for young people.

Need someone to talk to? Free, confidential support is available.

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