What is self-talk?

Self talk is your internal monologue — it’s the little voice in your head, your private thoughts, it’s all the things you don’t say aloud. Most of us chatter along to ourselves all day, but have you ever stopped and thought about what it is that you’re telling yourself? Your self-talk can have a big impact on how you think about yourself, your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself.

What is negative self-talk?

Negative self-talk is when you focus on the negative side of things, and it can really make you feel bad. It’s thinking things like “I’ll never be able to do that”, “I’m so fat/ugly/stupid” or “Everything sucks”. If your self-talk is mainly negative, it might start to affect your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself, but there are ways you can change your self-talk so it’s more positive.

How can I improve my self-talk?

Positive self-talk looks on the brighter side of things. It can be thoughts like, “I can give it a try”, “I’m a good friend”, noticing when you do well at school, or being positive about the future (“things aren’t great right now, but they will get better”). By changing your self-talk to being more positive, you can really change the way you relate to yourself and improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. Changing the way you think about yourself might sound hard, but if you start small, over time you’ll be able to switch it up.

Tips for more compassionate and positive self-talk

Notice your self-talk

What are you really saying to yourself? Try to work out if you are being negative or positive.

Question yourself

If you do notice your self-talk is negative, really think about it, is it based on any truth? Would you say that to someone else? Can you think of the situation in a more positive way? You might find you can think of things from a different perspective if you start to question them.

Turn negatives into positives

It might be difficult but when you catch yourself being negative try to change your thoughts to be more positive. Instead of thinking “I can’t handle this”, try thinking about what you can do to help yourself handle a situation.

Remind yourself

It can be hard to change a habit, so give yourself some help. Leave yourself some positive notes, or wear a piece of jewellery that will remind you to be positive when you look at it.

It might be tricky but the sooner you start, the easier it will be to start feeling great about yourself! You can read more about positive self-talk at ReachOut.

Learn more

Check out this video on the benefits of positive self-talk:

Where to get help

If you’re struggling with negative thoughts, talk to someone you trust. 

• Try talking about it to someone you trust like a friend, parent, teacher or school counsellor. They might have some great advice to help you be more positive.
• You can also call Kids Helpline or get online counselling at eheadspace.