Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and it’s totally normal to feel jealous of a friend, family member or someone in your life. But, it is important not to let it rule your world. Here are some ways of identifying and dealing with jealous feelings. 

 

Ask yourself: why do you feel this way?

Jealousy can appear when someone in your life is receiving more attention, succeeding in some way, achieving something you have been working towards, or has something that you don’t. It might occur when someone gets a higher mark on a test than you or has the big birthday bash that you dreamed of. It is normal to then feel sad, mad or ashamed that that is not you. 

 

Help, I feel jealous! What should I do?

 

Jealousy might be a completely normal emotion, but letting it decide how you interact with others is not the best idea. There are ways of dealing with jealousy that are healthy and help you identify why you might be feeling this way towards someone. 

• Write in a journal or diary – this can help release your thoughts and help you feel the other emotions that come along with jealousy. Here are some journal prompts to help you get started.
• Vent to a trusted source like your parent, a counsellor or even your dog – turning your thoughts into words can help you deal with your feelings. But beware, this venting session should not be to a friend or someone close to the person or event you are jealous of. This should be a way of processing your emotions not turning against others. 
• Reflect on why this event is triggering you to feel this way, does it represent insecurities that you have about yourself? Think about some ways you can address those feelings about yourself outside of the context of other people. 

How to deal with jealousy

Jealousy is often not actually about the person or event you feel jealous of, so when around those people it is important not to lash out or act out of these negative feelings. A good idea is to try and identify and deal with jealousy in real-time: 

• Try to take deep breaths or take a break for a moment. This helps put your feelings into perspective and allows you to regain some clarity about how you are feeling.
• You can also try and list some things you are grateful for, like your creativity or the support of a kind friend. This can help show you that despite the fact that you don’t have what you are jealous of at that moment, you do have a lot of things that you love in your life. 
• Look at the bigger picture — this may seem really important right now, but in reality this is just a small moment in a long and prosperous life ahead of you!
• Find some other tips on how to help with jealous feelings on the Healthline website. 

Remember, jealousy is a normal part of being a human, but it doesn’t have to define you. Comparing yourself to others is a normal instinct, but in reality, it just robs you of feeling good about yourself. You may not be able to control what happens to yourself or others but you can control how you react, so try and figure out what works for you.